My mind went blank, so no title today lol

Recently, i’ve been thinking.

I live in multi fandoms and after all this time, in every fandom, i’ve been high and low.

Very very high and very very low.

Very caring or  simply just ignore everything.

Being blind towards my biases and being very cautious.

Being very sensitive and a bit crazy lol

Cry and laugh.

Getting angry when someone insults my biases.

Sometimes i just lose my objectivity.

And now after all these years.

I’m still a very poor fangirl lol 

Poor in everything.

Am i support them enough? I guess not that much.

Then again, now, i came to the point where i just become more rational now.

Not that blind, not so biased anymore.

This past year, i learn how to put everything in a right way.

Learn to be more objective and more honest with myself.

No longer trying so hard just to fit with my surrounding.

Now, i’m so much more comfortable when i’m being honest with myself, with my thoughts.

I’m not interested into makes people happy or being accepted inside one fandom. 

I keep thinking, what is unyielding support means?

Is that means, always support our biases no matter what?

For me, that’s not the answer and that’s what exactly i do for recent case inside my K fandom.

Some people just can’t accept that.

Another one, having exactly the same thought as me.

For those who completely understand me, i’m very grateful.

For those who have different opinion with me, it doesn’t matter. πŸ™‚

I also in the middle of learning how to accept differences even though for some case, i still need lots of efforts to be able to keep my cool lol

So this is what i got :

I’ll continue fangirling with my own way, my own thoughts without thinking too much about other’s people opinion.

I used to think, that i need lots of friends inside the fandom but then again, now, that’s not the case.

It turns out that all i need is only couple of friends who can accept my mind with their rational minds and objective point of view.

And maybe, i’m just too tired to explain every single thing to people who just simply won’t understand.

Apparently, that’s good enough for me πŸ™‚

And PS. Maybe after all this time, i never be a hardcore one, only a girl who’s watching from afar πŸ™‚ 

Good day all~


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